Any and Everything

July 3, 2024

I am hopeful. I am really hoping that I will get to see someone soon that I haven’t seen in a while. I’ve missed him. I had a thing. A good friend of mine took his shot. I immediately told him that I am seeing someone. Without missing a beat. I surprised myself. I took some time last night and really thought about it. I don’t want to see anyone else. It is not even on my list of needs. I am not going to lie I have not been the best at being alone. But, I also haven’t wanted them this much. I would prefer to wait for him. I don’t know any other way to say it.

Today I have kept busy. I just wanted to do things all day and I damn near did. I am about to take a break from this and take the kids to go get fireworks. Just a few big ones and a few smaller ones. Their dad would always do fireworks for… just about every holiday. I uncovered his photo. I probably. Never mentioned it but I have a photo in my bedroom of us when I was pregnant with Ari. I had put another photo in the frame over it. I had a hard time looking at that stuff for a while.

I am so glad to be doing spaces tonight. It I s going to be so much fun. I need that fun comic relief of life.

…… Meanwhile, I did spaces and……………..

Spaces went well. Not our best but you know it really depends on who joins and the vibe of the room. We had a few curveballs. Those are never bad. They are just personalities that don’t align with the norm in the room. Heck, one person may loosen up and be comfortable talking about one topic and not another. You will get a different version of their personality depending on their comfortability. There is a learning moment here. It is interesting to understand and familiarize yourself with different aspects of people and it is helpful in getting practice at approaching things in different ways with different personalities. I have put thought into this. I do greatly enjoy the interaction it is my free time. As James and I refer to it, it is our version of “Cheers.” Funny but it is true.

We have the regulars who are literally always there. They may not stay the whole time but they are always there. We have the people who I like to refer to as Staples. Those people who may not always be there but are there enough that people notice when they are missing. We have people we have to limit the amount of time or who they speak to. I know this is a really ridiculous thing that we have to moderate adults in this way but it is necessary to do. If you don’t things go south quick. Lastly you have the newcomers. Some will stay and others will move on. It is always fun though. Always a good time.

It has come to my attention that I have hurt the friend’s feelings. The one that I was talking about earlier. The one who took his shot…He is being a good sport about it all. But I have been thinking about this. I don’t feel bad about telling the truth. I realized we as a society worry so much about how to label things that we end up losing the sight of why it made us happy in the first place. I haven’t announced that I am seeing someone. I don’t even know if that is what it is for him. I just know I am not seeing anyone else and I don’t want to. Also, the moment you make something like that public in any way, shape, or form… it opens up the door for other people to get involved. The more people who are involved the more complicated a situation becomes.

Isn’t it smart to enjoy the simplicity of something for as long as you can? To have something that you want but no one knows about? Not because you don’t want people to know it is more of a selfish reason. It is because you get to have it all to yourself for just a bit longer. I mean I have been honest here. Too honest at times. But people I know like in real life don’t normally read this. It still gives me a slight veil of anonymity. I do enjoy that. There is a bit of freedom in it. For now that is.

Today ended well. I enjoyed it. I didn’t do sad too much today. That was surprising. I have a bad habit of thinking I am ok and then realizing that I am not. I am alright though. I am ready to do tomorrow! I am going to have as much fun as I possibly can. I have dusted like everything today… it was so much and I really need to do more. But tomorrow is just fun day! I have shared some random photos It seemed like an appropriate time to share😉

Have a good night. Sleep Well.