Any and Everything

April 24, 2024

This is kind of going to be a two-parter. It is early in the day and it is a beautiful day. I have a date tonight. Which I will write about for the second part of this entry.

I have been feeling so much better lately. My general anxiety has been elevated but I am working through that. I have been off of my antidepressants and such for over a month now. I had my yearly physical and met with my psychiatrist. It is good. The plan was never to be on them for long. I just needed the help for a while. I will say detoxing is not for the faint of heart. That was a pain in the ass. At one point I even considered continuing to take them. I am glad I did not because it was time. Of course, if I find myself needing that sort of help again I won’t hesitate to contact my psychiatrist. She and I spoke about that at a length.

Am I excited about my date? I really don’t know. Not specifically. I look forward to it but I just get anxiety meeting new people. This is the worst. I hope it is a good time. I am having a good day but I always feel so awkward on dates. I don’t remember being this awkward when I was younger.

Back to mental health… I do I am getting to be in a much better spot. I feel it. I mean life is life and it can be overwhelming but I’m making it ok. The kids are ok. That is a nice feeling their therapies are going great. I am glad I took that step for them because I do feel like it is helping.

So, the guy that I am going on a date with and I have been chatting for a while. We are meeting halfway between us for dinner. It isn’t a far drive so that is going to be nice and I can leave the kids at home with food and they will be fine for the 2 hours that I will be gone. I should be more excited. I really should be but in my mind state I am still not used to dating. I don’t know if I will ever get used to it. I wonder if it is because I was married for so long. The notion of dating escapes you because why think about something that you don’t aim to do again?

The Next Day

April 25, 2024

Last night went well. I like him. Enough to see him again. If everything goes as planned we plan to hang out Saturday. We shall see. It was easy to talk and get along with him and I enjoyed spending the time I had with him. So that is a huge positive. It is nice to be able to say that I actually. Had a real date and a nice time. It has been a while. The last what I would call real date was with one of Josh’s oldest friends. He was a super nice guy and under different circumstances I would have absolutely liked him but it was just weird going out with someone that was once so close with Josh. This time it was different and I like it.

Today has been good. I have gotten a bit of the grass mowed and it is an awesome feeling. It needed to be done for sure. I don’t know if it is a sign but I have been seeing Gabe more and more. Why did I have to bang my neighbor? Better question… Why did he have to be so good in bed?