Any and Everything

February 23, 2024

It has been a crazy week full of errand running and appointments. I am so glad that it is Friday. And I am done for the day. I swore him off and boy did I try but when he said he would like to come down I caved. What can I say I am only human. And there is just something about him I can’t explain. We all know who I am talking about… G of course.

I know, I know… doesn’t mean I am letting him back in… I just want to have a good rendezvous. Romp, if you will. I am weak to the flesh. Which can be a good and a bad thing I suppose. I told you all I would always be honest. And if you had asked me earlier I would have said I am done with G but I just am weak.

I have been having confusing emotions in general here lately. I am going to work on clearing my mind. You know, I had not realized that a clear head is a hard thing to attain when you realize you never really were able to have one in the past. If that makes any sense. I feel like as long as the bills are paid and my kids are taken care of… I can be a little hedonistic at times. I’m not talking about wild stuff. But if I want to drink a bottle of wine (I rarely do) I treat myself… Now I typically drink 2 glasses and pass out. I suppose that is just how we, as adults, do it. Take care of business and then enjoy a little pleasure.

I am going to continue this tomorrow and fill you in on tonight. Good night my friends!

February 24, 2024

Today has started off amazing. I really can’t complain. But do I think this changes the fact that I can’t do much more with Gabe… No it doesn’t. But I am content in matching energies. I can use this as a sexual exploration for a while. I want to so I am going to. It is beautiful outside today. Sunny! But that wind is nothing to joke about.

I can hear all of the kids playing outside. I love that sound. I remember some of my best times as a child were spent exploring the outdoors. I am so happy I am able to give that to my children and their friends. I have little creeks, streams, and trails throughout. I just love my house and my surroundings. Now the town it is ok. But I only venture to town to run errands. Maybe I should do it more often just to get more comfortable with being out in public again.

Right now and in this moment I am content and that is a good feeling. It won’t last long but… I will make myself have more of these moments. Why not right? I know that I am just mainly. Focusing on the kids but I am trying to allow for me to have some time for myself too. Without taking from the children. That is my most important task…. Balance. Who knows how long it will take for me to get true balance in my life but I am going to keep trying until I achieve it. That is a goal I aim to keep and meet sooner than later. But, as I am, going with the flow. It may realistically take longer than I want and that is ok.

I am getting there I really am I have made some decisions over these last couple of days. Oh! This week I am going to pre-spring clean the house. That will be a nice feeling once that is done. Guess it is time to go see what my minions are getting into. I hope you all have an amazing rest of your weekend.