Any and Everything

A lot of people always ask me about my necklaces. I always wear them because they are both special to me. One has my daughters’ birthstones in it and the other is my urn necklace.

I had Josh cremated. It was what we always talked about doing if we passed. I have a beautiful Urn but. I wanted to have something to carry with me. I know it almost seems like personal punishment. Why would I want to carry this man around with me who treated me so poorly towards the end.

I do it because there will always be love there and despite all of his flaws I still want a piece of him with me. I ordered one for each of my daughters and for his mother. I personally filled each necklace. I think I cried the entire time I was trying to get this ash into these tiny holes. It was a horrible task.

Everyone chose their own necklace and had their own reasons for the one they chose. I personally chose the Vegvisir. It is basically a viking compass. Josh loved everything viking after we did the ‘23 and me’ test years ago and he found he came from viking stock. When I saw it. I knew it was perfect. I did order a long chain so I can always wear this necklace. I do take it off to shower. But that is the only time.

I value what this necklace means and I will probably wear it for the rest of my life. I don’t know why maybe it is the kids. We will always be connected because of them. I feel more whole when I am wearing my necklace.

I just wanted to explain my reasoning. I have had people compare it to wearing blood in a vial. It really isn’t that weird. Urn necklaces are very common and a great way to keep that person with you. That is also why I had to order each of my daughters one. My little one only wears hers for special occasions but my older girls, like me, never take it off.

His urn is beautiful and took me all of 3 minutes to pick out. The minute I saw it I knew it was perfect and Josh would have loved it. Oh that was a hard day, picking up the ashes. I didn’t even write much that day. It wasn’t in me. I had a breakdown after I paid and got to my vehicle. Not a good day for me. But I made it through and I am here now