Any and Everything

January 7, 2023

Today I have decided not to allow little things to bother me. I mean why they don’t really matter int he big scheme of things. I have been thinking I am numb but someone brought to my attention that I’m hardened and that is so true. It isn’t really a numbness I am more hardened than anything. I swear my world could fall apart and I wouldn’t even blink. I would just move forward.

Defense mechanism? I think so. I hope I shed it eventually. I can feel that this is a measure I am taking to protect myself. I don’t see it as a bad thing. Not right now. I need it.

I have been asked out so many times and I just can’t bring myself to go. Not that I don’t want to at times… it just wouldn’t be fair to the man asking. I can’t offer an emotional relationship at this time in my life. I’m just not emotionally available.

I have had company all weekend and it is nice. We are really on the same page. He doesn’t really talk to me and I don’t really talk to him but. we have a chemistry that I just can’t explain. It isn’t going to go anywhere. But I am enjoying this while it lasts.

I’ve been evaluating my life a lot today and thinking about things that I want to do. The way I’m doing that is taking it day by day. I have my plans mapped out for tomorrow and I will just check the tasks off as I go. It will be good for me. I start school back tomorrow. I am excited to get back on schedule. I like that continuity in my life.

Well that’s it for the weekend. Now we move into the new week. Have a good night y’all.