Any and Everything

December 25, 2023

This is our first Christmas without Josh. I wasn’t sad this morning when the kids were opening gifts. I thought I would be. I’m happy the melancholy isn’t taking over so far today.

It is his favorite weather out, gloomy and rainy. I know the kids have to miss him. They have already pointed out how their dad would have loved this weather. When they hurt, I hurt. But, all in all they are happy today.

Time makes things easier. Not better. Just easier. As I sit here staring out the window watching the rain fall I feel okay for once. Mornings are the worst for me.

The day isn’t over yet though…

It is now almost 8pm. The house is quiet. I love nights like this. Everyone was happy for the most part most of the day. That in itself with three children is a success. I am waiting on one of the twins to get home. She went to have Christmas dinner with her boyfriend. I feel content tonight. I have thought about Josh throughout the day but I haven’t been too sad or emotional about it all. I hate that he missed Christmas but I know this will become our new normal and we will have to embrace it. What option do we have?

We could wallow in our loses but we aren’t those types of people. I can see it everyday… the kids are getting better and so am I.

Merry Christmas my dear friends ❤️.