Any and Everything

It’s been a good day so far. I’ve only broken down a few times and it is 10:15am. Maybe I’ll get a few hours of peace… Probably not but I can hope. I miss him quite a bit today. A lot of the good times flood my mind and it just brings my melancholy to the forefront.

I call it melancholy because it never truly disappears. I’malmost always miserable inside. I can physically move forward so quick but emotionally I don’t know how long this torture can last. Will there be a day that it isn’t so hurtful?

I keep thinking about when we were young. So young. I mss that. I miss him to the depths of my soul. We had bad times lots but, we had some good ones too. 17 years together. I can’t imagine ever marrying again. I don’t want to. I don’t ever need to again. It’s plain and simple.

Home just no longer feels right. It isn’t our home anymore. I just wish he was here. The last thing I told him was I loved him. The kids… the same. At least he knew he was loved.