Any and Everything

To be widowed twice…What in the world could I have done to deserve the pain that comes from that. Like once wasn’t enough? Not only do I get to feel it with young love. I get to do it all over again but this time with children. I knew life wouldn’t be fair but…I wasn’t aware of the brutality that I would endure. I never expected fair but this………… If I had an enemy, I would never wish this upon them. I don’t know how I’m even pretending to hold myself together. I don’t know if I’m going to hold my stoic stance. It is harder for me to control this time but I don’t want to cry in front of all these people. I don’t, I refuse.

I have given the world so much of myself I’d like to keep a tiny piece to myself today. I have earned that right.