Any and Everything

December 26, 2023

Today I am numb. It isn’t necessarily bad but it’s the truth. I feel like just laying in bed all day and I think I will… watching movies with my children. It helps.

I can’t fathom how next year will be. I really hope it is better than this year. I mean this year wasn’t bad but it was different. I missed that Josh missed Christmas. I am not sad. It is weird I am just numb. Not stuck, my mood and emotions change by the minute.

It is now in the afternoon I had a good cry today. I was looking at old photos from when we went to Orlando last year. It makes me sad that is the last vacation I remember being fun. He wasn’t very mobile but I got to take the kids to have a good time. I want to do it again soon. I want to take them and let them have their time there with just me. Knowing that it is just us. I don’t know if that makes sense. I just want them to be happy and seeing those photos I can tell they are truly happy.

Im going to wind down my day. I hope I sleep well tonight. Sometimes I just can’t for various reasons. It can be nightmares or just the simple inability to sleep. I may blog more if I find I can not sleep but till then ❤️.