Any and Everything

Today has been somber. Like most days here lately. I know it is only natural but I just want this to be over. I don’t want to be so unhappy but I don’t see a way out other than just wading through my emotions. I know rationally life doesn’t suck. Life gets better but god I miss my old Josh… the one before alcohol. That one I miss… It’s even more sad that the girls don’t know that version of him. They would have loved him. I constantly check in with them making sure they are okay. It sucks because he didn’t want to go and I didn’t want him to go… That is stuck in my head.